Some years ago Rosalee wanted to get an iPod. Not being a big electronics fan myself I decided to make her a natural alternative, including an extensive User's Guide, which you can find below.
I hope you enjoy it.
Prim’ Pod™’s user guide, © 2009 Prim’ Techs®
I. Congratulations for acquiring a brand new Prim’ Pod™! Prim’ Techs® is proud to present you with its new device that will “Unlock the powers of your mind.”®
At Prim’ Techs® we work hard to satisfy your needs 100% sustainably. For 4.5 billion years, evolution has designed the most powerful and cost effective way to upload, store, and download information for your every need, from experiencing the world around you to recreating a different one in your mind.
With Prim’ Pod™ you are finally able to free yourself from hundreds of years of oppression! Indeed, during the period of the Great Forgetting, people simply forgot how to use their minds in creative ways, instead relying on barbaric techniques such a plugging into radiation-producing gizmos requiring slave labor to produce. With Prim’ Pod™ you are now free to “Unlock the powers of your mind.”®
II. How does it work?
Prim’ Pod™ is 100% powered by love and imagination, a free and renewable energy source. Simply tap the on/off button at the bottom right of your ‘pod’ and start exploring the multiple features of your new device. To recharge your Prim’ Pod™, you can simply clap your hands three times, saying “I believe, I believe, I believe.” (Also available in stealth mode. Contact us for details.)
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| Provided by Prim’ Techs®: “The best technologies at the lowest costs” Powered by 4.5 billion years of evolution. |
III. Functions
1. The Visualize screen. The Visualize screen now allows you to add images to the sounds that you experience in your mind. The visual menu helps you to remember what your mind can do.
Remember. Toss away your camera! The Remember function allows you to review all past events and comes with unlimited storage space. Never again will you have to review and delete some of your information to create more space. Plus, with our new shuffle technology, you can even alter memories to make them more pleasant.
Watch. For millions of years your retina was developed to input thousands of bits of information ever second. Never be bored again; just open your eyes and enjoy the beauty around you!
Dream (requires the Sleep module). With this powerful function you will be able to experience an incredible array of stimulations, even some brand new combinations made up on the spot using our jumble technology to mix in past, present, future, and imagined events.
Think. Our newest function, it is still in its beta mode and is admittedly limited and faulty. However, it will take you to the cutting edge of what is possible in information processing today. So go ahead and edit, cut, copy, and paste your information into new creative formats!
2. The four ‘Vocal Tech +’ buttons provide you with unprecedented capacity for connection and entertainment. Indeed, you can now sing or hum your favorite songs. No more bad songs in your programming; just sing whatever you want, whenever you want. And if you get tired of a particular song? Just stop singing it and start a new one!
The Talk and Laugh buttons will also allow you to hear your own voice and enjoy it at the same time. Plus, they can be combined with the Visualize screen options to give you a more complete experience. So try different combinations of functions and talk away! You won’t be disappointed.
Plus, now with our interactive technology you can communicate with other beings in real time!* No more delayed or garbled communications hiding behind a screen. The ‘Face-to-Face’ interface allows you to talk directly to the person in front of you.
*requires the other users to make their own Prim’ Pod™. Contact us for more information on acquiring other devices.
3. Mute. We understand that talking, singing, or dreaming can be embarrassing at times, especially if the people around you don’t have a Prim’ Pod™ yet. Therefore, for you own comfort, you can use all the functions of your device inside your own mind, without sharing your experiences with strangers. So lock your thoughts away and sing as loud as you want inside your own head!
4. The Back and Next buttons allow you to review what you just experienced, or just quickly move on to the next one, respectively. So don’t get stuck on one thought and surf away!
5. The microphone functions. Communicate with us at Prim’ Techs® instantly. Just close your eyes or visualize us on your Visualize screen and tell us what ails you. And if we’re not available right then? No Problem! Just push the Record button and store away what you need to say until we can get in touch.
6. The Stop/Clear Mind button allows you to clear all information from your mind and thus enjoy some peace and quiet. Who said that technology needed to be loud and obnoxious? Not us! This rest function is also fully compatible with the Insights module, which is also available from Prim’ Techs®.
IV. How do we compare to other companies?
We don’t! Although well-known and utilized for millennia we are now unique on the market. Nobody else can guarantee you the power, storage space, and energy efficiency of your own mind, and only Prim’ Pod™ actually encourages you to “Unlock the powers of your mind.”®
All the other companies provide pre-packaged experiences that make you more dependent on them in the long run. So free yourself and enjoy the full potential of 4.5 billion years of evolution. Additionally, Prim’ Pod™ is the only device made 100% sustainably from 100% renewable resources by 100% willing and loving hands. So enjoy our product guilt-free!
© 2009 Prim’ Techs®
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Prim’ Techs®: “Reconnecting people to reality is our duty.”®
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Note: All the ©, ®, and TM things are just part of the fun. Feel free to reproduce and share any of this if you find it fun.
Loved this! Pam in Norway
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